"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Sunday, December 30, 2007

You ask, I answer

In a comment to my last post, Sphincter asked: "BTW, what happened with the Cornhole Game?" Now you should know that I take these sort of questions from my readers very seriously, mainly because I realize that if I don't, and as a result were to lose just one reader, this would ... well, it would cut my audience in half, basically, and that would be tragic. So without further adieu* let me present -- complete with color photos! -- the conclusion to the Great Christmas Cornhole Caper of 2007:

Completed "naked" cornhole set prior to being painted, with a closeup of the retractable leg area. Look at the detail! Look at the craftsmanship! Look at how I forgot to remove my cutting guide lines!

After applying a primer coat and base layer of lovely slate-gray paint, I next proceeded to deftly add the mind-boggling complex design pattern atop the boards. (Ignore that big ugly overspray of day-glo orange on the front there in the left photo. OK, I had to repaint it, but I'm prepared to suffer for my art.) Finally, I applied several coats of Minwax Polycrylic® to seal and protect the finish, and give it a lustrous shine. Because that's just how I roll.

Christmas morning: L&T opening the elaborately boxed and wrapped corn bags while the boards remained cleverly hidden in the garage. Initially, since they had no concept of the game, I played a little joke on them by pretending that the bags alone were their complete present. This kept everyone in a somewhat bewildered state (major source of bewilderment: trying to remain polite while wondering whether to call 911 for medical assistance since I clearly appeared to have lost my mind) for several minutes until I piped up with "Oh wait! I almost forgot, there's something else that goes with it!" I'm such a kidder. The boards then appeared through the back door, and as they say, "the crowd went wild."

While Cornhole is not exactly an indoor sport, we nevertheless risked damage to our windows, fine china, cats, and other breakable items by setting up the targets in the living room in order for me to demonstrate the detailed, highly complicated rules of the game, which can be summarized thusly: try to toss the bag through the freakin' hole. In the photos above, Dead-Eye Brady takes aim; he shoots, he scores!! Seriously, the game set was a huge hit, especially with the kids. We've heard that they've held family back yard tournaments nearly every night since Christmas and L. is talking about making Cornhole sets for all their friends, and (unlike Mrs. Toast and I, barbaric heathens who live in near-seclusion) they know a whole bunch o' people, mostly through their church back home near Austin. At this rate, if their enjoyment of the sport catches on, I may turn out to be singularly responsible for the spread of Cornhole into East-Central Texas, which will mean that if there was ever any doubt before, there's none now:

I'm going to hell.

*Exactly what is "adieu", anyway? And why should there be no further of it now? I've never been able to figure this expression out.


  • At 12/31/2007 09:22:00 AM, Blogger SupaCoo said…

    Brilliant! My Christmas gifts all sucked in comparison.

  • At 12/31/2007 04:05:00 PM, Blogger Sphincter said…

    You are so responsive to your readers' needs, Mr Toast! I am quite jealous of those Cornhole Game recipients. Looks like a good time was had by all. And I dunno about the adieu thing, either.

  • At 1/02/2008 10:12:00 PM, Blogger April said…

    Thanks for the follow up. I'm glad the game was a big hit. What sharp grahics! Can't beat Blaze Orange!


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