"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Coasting through the holidays

I would like to thank those of you who have recently inquired about my well-being, both by email and in the comments. I am, indeed, still here and doing OK, although one would be justifiably hard-pressed to make that determination based on my lack of posting lately. I've had creative droughts before, but this one appears to be a humdinger. It's no doubt the double-whammy of my typical "holiday blues" which has dogged me most of my life, combined with the simple fact that things around here have been utterly boring and un-blogworthy for the last month or two.

During times like these, I recall when I was 22 years old and freshly out of college. I had only a vague idea of what to do with my life at that point; I knew I wanted to be in the entertainment business -- radio, TV, music, or some other kind of media -- but at the time two words that would have best described my attitude were "apathetic" and "clueless". On an extended visit to see my older sister in New York City, her husband Norman, who was then a well-respected Broadway producer with little sympathy for those with the ability but not the motivation to give their best performance, sat me down at the kitchen table for a lecture which included these words of wisdom I will remember for the rest of my life:

"Mr. Toast, it's time to get your ass in gear," he thundered. OK, he used my real name, but you get the idea.

Ever since then, when I feel like I am stalling out I remember Norman's exasperation. Having dealt with creative yet finicky people every single day, he knew I had more fire in the belly if I would just get up off my lazy ass and apply myself. He was right, and I do.

Just not this week.

So, since we appear to be on cruise control until my ass gets back in gear, let me do what any other creative type does when they're out of new material: recycle my old shit.

Mr. Toast's Mail-Order Holiday Catalog Selection

Mr. Toast's Holiday Gift Guide Part 1

Mr. Toast's Holiday Gift Guide Part 2

Hopefully the unbridled hilarity of these posts will tide you over until I can come up with something original after I'm feeling more enthusiastic and spontaneous. And that will be soon, I promise.

Because any day above ground is a good day.