"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Generic politically-correct festive greetings!

To all readers of this blog:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes to you and your family for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Furthermore, we wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, gender, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

In conclusion, please select one or more of the following based on your religion, ethnicity, or other personal preference:

▢ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

▢ Happy Holidays

▢ Seasons Greetings

▢ Happy Kwanzaa

▢ Happy Hanukkah

▢ Cheery Saturnalia

▢ Pleasant Boxing Day

▢ Joyeux Noelle

▢ Feliz Navidad y Prospero Año Nuevo

Май у вас долгую счастливуюжизнь и, не дай Бог, ваши зубы не должны выпадать.
(May you live a long happy life and, God willing, your teeth should not fall out.)

Sincerely,
Mr. Toast


1 Comments:

  • At 1/26/2012 02:51:00 AM, Anonymous edit picture said…

    Hi.
    Festive greetings should be funny. In order to set us all in the mood. Don't you think so?
    And you don't have to use swear words to make them funny, remember that too.

     

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