"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Thursday, May 08, 2008

iPope 2.0

Translation Of Papal Message in Yesterday's Post For Anyone Over The Age Of 16:

"Good Heavens! Hello brothers and sisters, it is I, His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI. I'm so sorry I cannot meet with you face-to-face, but it is certainly great to talk to you nevertheless. Are you aware of my age, sex, and current location at this very moment? I am parked right in front of your house in my Papal Vehicle! Oh my, that is so funny, but I'm only kidding you, I have a message from Your Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God: Don't be a person who hates others. I'm chuckling to myself now. You should always bless your girlfriend or boyfriend with many hugs and kisses ... but be sure to do the right thing! What do I mean by this? I mean don't smoke any marijuana, or watch pornography, and most importantly, always remain celibate. Honest to God, I mean it, and not only because your parents are watching you, but remember God is watching you too. So if you are sitting in front of your computer without any clothing on right now, put your pants back on and stop that sinful activity right now, young man! Oh my, that is so funny! Seriously, I must leave you now but I hope you will heed my helpful advice. Remember that you will always be in my prayers. Farewell, and I hope to send you another message at some point in the future."

Should His Holiness find success with this unorthodox method of reaching out to young people on World Youth Day, I can only assume that this would be the next logical step: (Click on image for more detail.)

I am definitely going to Hell for this.

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