"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Monday, February 27, 2006

Haiku, therefore I am

I can no longer say that I've never won anything in my life.

Today, the internet equivalent of Publisher's Clearing House has come a-knockin' on my virtual door. I open it in my pajamas, bleary-eyed and somewhat incoherent, wondering who on earth could be at the door at this god-awfully early hour (10 AM!!) of the morning. Suddenly, before I am fully awake and realize what's happening, Ed McMahon has thrust an oversize check for TEN MILLION DOLLARS into my hands, TV cameras are rolling, buxom models in sequined tights are jumping up and down on my front porch, and a reporter shoves a microphone into my face, asking "SO how does it feel to be a WINNER??" while I am caught between the euphoria of realizing that I have actually WON something and the nagging DREAD that some unspeakable part of my anatomy may be hanging out of my pajamas on live national television.

Well, not exactly.

But I have won a batch of chocolate chip cookies! Which is almost as good, considering that no magazine subscriptions or potentially embarrassing video is involved. Better yet, these cookies will be personally baked by the delicate hooves of Ms. Moose herself. All I had to do was write a haiku -- and by some strange twist of luck, mine was selected as the best. Okay, co-selected, to be more precise; I tied with another author for the top spot, but still, people -- cookies!! I am pumped here! Boo-yah!

Of my winning entry, Moose writes, "I laughed, I cried, I realized that even grown men are prone to angst- ridden drama of the 14-year-old variety. Susceptible to such things myself, this amuses me." Yes, cookies appeal to the inner child in all of us, and perhaps it was the subconscious realization of this Truth that inspired my poetic imagination. Or whatever. Maybe it's best not to over-analyze, but simply thank Moose for this honor and enjoy my sweet reward. I promise to post an update (with photos!) when the Prize Patrol van arrives with my booty, but in the meantime here's a sample of my newly-acquired, award-winning haiku skills:

Bloggers, dogs and cats
Universal cookie love
All that's left is crumbs

(sigh...) Brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?

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