Actual conversation heard 'round the tree on Xmas morning

Mrs. Toast: Wow, I'm surprised. This year you didn't get me any perfume, bath oil, lotions, or other smelly stuff for Christmas like you usually do.

Me: Maybe that just means I think you don't stink.

[Evil eye cast my way.]

Me: That is, I mean, I think you already smell great this year.

[Evil eye intensifies.]

Me: I mean ... never mind.

[Pause]

Me: Hey, look! It's A Wonderful Life is on!