"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Friday, September 29, 2006

I've (f)allen, and I can't get up

As if there isn't already enough excitement in my life, I now have a broken foot. Technically it's called a "fifth metatarsal fracture" (see diagram, right) and is, I'm told, a fairly common injury. Now we all know that few things in life are more hilarious than a broken bone, so here's a fun idea: let's play a little multiple-choice game where you try to guess exactly how I managed to do this:

(a) Spotted Osama Bin Laden in my neighborhood, slipped and fell while in hot pursuit

(b) Tapped by Houston Texans as last-minute emergency replacement for quarterback David Carr, only to suffer bone-crushing tackle in last week's game vs. Washington

(c) Dropped heavy ladder on foot while rescuing woman and small child from burning building

(d) Bicycle crash trying for "big air" while practicing Freestyle BMX dirt jumping in preparation for next X-Games competition

(e) Scuffled with polar bear on camping expedition to Alaska wilderness

(f) Got out of lounge chair not realizing foot had gone to sleep, fell on my ass like an idiot

I'll leave it to you to speculate as to which of these is the most likely scenario, but let's just say that I (f)eel pretty (f)reaking stupid.


  • At 10/01/2006 09:22:00 PM, Blogger April said…

    POOR Mr. Toast! I'm sorry you broke you foot? I hope it doesn't hurt too bad and that it heals quickly! If I were you, I'd tell everyone it was (e). I pictured you beating the crap out of a polar bear, its a more believable story that you think :)

  • At 10/01/2006 09:38:00 PM, Blogger bossann said…

    Ouch! Ummmmm, B!

    (F)rom a (f)riend in (F)L: Trust me it's not the most (f)oolish way to sustain this injury! Try dropping a (f)ilm on your (f)oot, then walking into a (f)reaking door while screaming the (f)-word in (f)ront o(f) movie patrons who had to wait (f)orty minutes (f)or you to re-load the projector's platter with the spaghetti-like (f)ilm...then try explaining how it happened to your boss as you hit him up (f)or worker's comp!

    But isn't the "shoe" they give you sooooo attractive(!) and comfortable?

    Hope you (f)eel better soon...and that you don't (f)orget that most accidents happen in the home!

  • At 10/03/2006 05:01:00 PM, Blogger Chandira said…

    Oh NOOOO!!! I'm sorry!! Damn polar bears.


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