Random News Tidbits

Wrapping up a week when, it seems, trivial world events such as the war in Iraq and politics on the home front were pushed aside by the dramatic media appearance of Britney Spear's cooch, (Related story: K-Fed says he's "doing great") here are a few other headlines you may have missed:

Bad Kitty

In Miami, a 7-year-old child's birthday party went horribly wrong when a 62-pound cougar named "Georgia", hired as part of an exotic animal show for the party by the child's father, mauled a 4-year old guest. The declawed cat grasped the child's head with her teeth, causing severe lacerations to her eyelid, left cheek and ear. Doctors sewed back part of her severed ear. Georgia was later euthanized as part of a rabies test, over the objection of the cat's trainer, Cory Oltz. Oltz, the owner of "Wild Animal World", says the child "sneaked up behind" the big cat and startled it, despite being cautioned to remain calm and still while the animal was being brought out. Oltz faces a misdemeanor charge of allowing injury to the public, as well as a lawsuit by the child's family. According to an attorney representing the injured girl, who has not been identified, ''the family wants this to be the last child who is attacked by these animals.'' Two similar incidents have occurred in the last seven years.

Wild Animal World is a non-profit organization which offers a ''wide variety of educational, exciting and professional interaction with exotic animals,'' charging about $300 for a one-hour birthday party show, according to its website. Oltz, a former model, says on the site: "I always wanted to do a photo session with a big cat. They provided one on a modeling shoot and I was hooked!'' Her least favorite part of the job: "The inevitable bites get tiresome.'' While there are lots of cute pictures on the website of foxes, lemurs, monkeys and other animals posing with kids, oddly, none of the photos depict a big cat ripping a child's face off. I guess that would be bad for business.

Flight Grounded by Giant Fart

Meanwhile, considering my recent post regarding the side-splitting humor of simulated flatulence around the ol' Christmas tree, this story from Nashville seems especially apropos: An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing earlier this week after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of "a body odor".

According to the Associated Press, the Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane and luggage were searched. The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal flatulence from an "unspecified medical condition."

An airline spokesman said, "It's humorous in a way, but you feel sorry for the individual. It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up." The flight took off again, but the woman, who was neither identified nor charged in the incident, was not allowed back on the plane. Apparently, authorities decided that the extreme mortal embarrassment was punishment enough.

Hot Panda Sex

In other news, from Hong Kong comes encouraging word from scientists who say that a plan to stimulate giant pandas to breed by showing them "panda porn" has paid off. They claim to have sparked a baby boom among the endangered animals by showing them DVDs of pandas mating.

"It works," Zhang Zhihe, a leading Chinese expert, told the Xinhua news agency. "It is the same idea as chimpanzees seeing people smoke and then copying it."

In the first 10 months of this year 31 cubs were born in captivity in China and 28 survived, said Zhang. That's an increase from 12 births in 2005 and just nine in 2000.

Let's hope the pandas are not shown the Britney Spears video.

Sorry, No Refunds or Exchanges

Finally, the Wind in the Wire "What Were They Thinking?" award for the week goes to a 52-year-old German man who tried in vain to get a refund for 400 euros worth of what he said was "bad marijuana" from his dealer by turning to the police for help.

"It is un-usable," the man told police in the hope they would help him get his money back. Not surprisingly to anyone other than perhaps the man himself, police then charged him with violating drug possession laws and confiscated the 200 grams of marijuana he brought with him to the police station.

You can't make up stuff like this. Have a great weekend!