"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Thursday, February 09, 2006

New meaning for the phrase "IP address"

Every once in a while, someone comes out with a product that makes me want to smack myself upside the head and go, "why didn't I think of that?". Today we present such an item for your edification and amusement; big tip o'the Toast hat to Jim for the heads-up on this.

Imagine the following scenario: You're on e-Bay bidding on a priceless Willet McFarkle machine. You've been searching for months, and have finally found one. With only minutes left to go in the auction and the current bid price at just $1.50, you can't possibly leave your computer. But after three cups of coffee and a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew, you've been crossing your legs for the last half hour and you just don't know if you can make it. Well never fear, Pilgrim, the Internet Urinal is here!!
"Shopping, gaming, chat rooms, cyber-dating - the internet is such an addictive and time-consuming force, who's got time to go? With the Internet Urinal, you'll never have to leave your computer again. Imagine the freedom - destroy your enemies on network Quake without taking a break; drink as many cans of Jolt as you want and still be able to make that last important trade before the market closes. Each urinal is made with hard plastic and comes with a handy female adapter. Holds 32 oz. of liquid (the same as a Big Gulp!). Also great for road trips, stake outs, waiting in line for Star Wars tickets, and hundreds of other critical functions."

This would be funny even if it wasn't for real, which it is. If you find yourself having trouble holding it and can't be bothered with the 5-yard dash to the bathroom, you can buy them here for the bargain price of only two (his & hers?) for $4.95. Oy, such a deal.

The joke potential for this product is seemingly endless, but in the interest of good taste (this blog? Ha!) I'm going to end the post here. Feel free to pick up the ball (ouch!) in the comments section.

4 Comments:

  • At 2/09/2006 08:27:00 PM, Anonymous Dick Cheney said…

    Our interrogators use these at Guantanamo. I thought they were made by Halliburton!

     
  • At 2/09/2006 10:21:00 PM, Blogger April said…

    the sad part, is that I have a friend that would think this is the best birthday gift EVER. Matter of fact... whats that link again...

     
  • At 2/10/2006 12:05:00 AM, Blogger Neil Shakespeare said…

    And you could bring them to baseball games, too. No more trotting to the restrooms during the 7th inning stretch to get rid of all that beer.

     
  • At 2/11/2006 09:07:00 AM, Blogger Mr. Toast said…

    Ummm, yeah, but it might be a little embarrasing with the other people in the stands and all. If I saw the guy next to me using one of these, I definitely wouldn't be wanting him to pass me a hot dog.

     

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