"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Bristol Palin Is Major Babeage

That has to be the thought running through the mind of many young (and not-so-young) men this week since Sarah Palin's 17-year old daughter has been thrust into the limelight by the recent announcement that she is five months pregnant. Hey, forget those skanky Bush twins! Bristol's cute, has a killer bod, and like, dude, she obviously puts out!

Oh wait ... I'm sorry, I forgot: family is supposed to be off limits in this election, and the Republicans are already getting traction by chastising certain media outlets for asking intrusive questions about allegations leveled at Palin and her family. Yet, the McCain campaign apparently sees no problem in trotting out Palin's brood at every public appearance, arranging for Bristol's baby-daddy Levi Johnston to be seated at the convention alongside the Palin family and Cindy McCain, where the newborn Trig Palin was passed up and down the line like the campaign prop he's become.

Sorry Sarah, but you can't have it both ways. You can't say "please respect the privacy of my family" as you exploit them for political gain, and wrap yourself in Poor Little Sweet Baby Trig to prove your anti-abortion stand. (BTW, where did they get the names for these kids? Trig, Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow? What are they going to name Bristol's child when it's born in four months? Meegosh? Sorsha? Madmartigan?)

In any case, she did get off to a strong start with her speech at the RNC convention last night, at one point quipping: "By the way, do you know what they say the difference is between a hockey mom and a Pit Bull? Lipstick." She also fired a few salvos at one of conservatives' favorite targets: "the liberal media," for being so impertinent as to ask questions about her family. This preview seems to suggest that much of her campaign strategy will involve attacking the press, which, as Richard Nixon used to such advantage, can work much better than attacking your opponent when you have little else of substance to run on. Over at Slate, reporter Jack Shafer went as far as to say of Palin, "she'll run as the new Sprio Agnew." (Apparently, former references to "Dan Quale in a dress" are no longer apropos, now that we're beginning to see Palin's formidable chops as an attack dog.) Shafer went on to say:
Instead of letting Palin talk directly and frequently to the press, the McCain campaign will dress her in bunting and rush her from one controlled setting the next—small towns, firebases in Iraq and Afghanistan, "town halls," important funerals, church conventions, and American Legion halls (essentially George W. Bush's current itinerary). There she'll play the role of Spiro Agnew to McCain's Nixon, dismissing reporters' tough questions as effete, impudent, sacrilegious, snobby, intrusive, unpatriotic, hostile, disrespectful, chauvinistic, "East Coast," unfair, unbalanced, liberal, biased, trivial, hypothetical, elitist, and as partisan attempts to lasso her with a "gotcha." Beating the press always attracts votes, but rarely enough to turn an election. Palin could find herself winning the battle for her running mate but losing the war.
As Shafer points out, the attacks could backfire: already the Democrats are reporting that donations to their campaign are up considerably since Palin was named as the Republican VP nominee and began criticizing Obama:
"Sarah Palin's attacks have rallied our supporters in ways we never expected," Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton said. "And we fully expect John McCain's attacks tonight to help us make our grassroots organization even stronger."
Personally, I think Palin was a VP choice of desperation for McCain, and my prediction is that she will ultimately be a liability instead of an asset to the ticket. Her choice was an obvious pander to disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters, but her political views are nearly 180 degrees from HRC's, and I honestly don't believe that many women (no matter their political stripe) are so short-sighted that they will vote for her simply because she has a vagina. Much has been made of the fact that she is a "hockey mom" and an "ordinary person", and that this should somehow appeal to us. Excuse me, but I don't want an "ordinary" person in the White House -- I want someone extra-ordinary who has the experience and ability to effectively handle the most important job on the planet. Considering his age and past health issues, there is more than an insignificant chance that Miss Congeniality could in fact become the leader of the free world if John McCain expires before his term of office does. So, seriously: is this the person you want to be a heartbeat away from the presidency?

Readers, please comment.


  • At 9/05/2008 03:29:00 AM, Blogger SupaCoo said…

    No, no, and OH HELL NO.

    Well put, Toaster.

  • At 9/05/2008 06:53:00 PM, Blogger Chandira said…

    I won't tell you what 'Bristols' are slang for in England, but she has a nice pair. I should know, I'm from Bristol. ;-)

    No, no no!! This woman is an effing nightmare waiting to happen.
    I have a few posts up about her, one circulating the net, one I'm hoping will, written by a friend of a friend (for real), that is a Juneau resident. Arghh. She's a book-burning oil-industry redneck 'Christian' harpie. She makes Hillary look like Mother Teresa.

  • At 9/09/2008 01:28:00 AM, Blogger Mr. Toast said…

    Yes ... Bristol does have a nice pair of headlights. (Mrs. Toast did not hear me say that.)

    I read your posts, and I'm sorry you took them down (although I understand why you did). People need to know the truth about this woman, she is freakin' nuts.


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