"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Friday, November 10, 2006

Fake News

Rumsfeld Lets Door Hit Him In The Ass On His Way Out

Washington, D.C. - The Bush Administration's hallmark lack of exit strategy has claimed yet another victim, this time Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld himself.

Sources inside the Pentagon confirm Rumsfeld had paused to bestow one last condescending smirk as he exited the building yesterday afternoon. Witnesses say a gigantic reinforced steel door swung closed onto his buttocks, knocking him several feet into the air. He walked with a noticeable limp following the incident, and subsequent medical tests at Bethesda Naval Hospital revealed an injured coccygeal attachment.

The Secretary is said to be recuperating at home, and has received numerous cards and emails encouraging him to "break a leg," "choke on it," "drop dead," and "take a flying leap on a rolling donut you smug incompetent worthless piece of crap."

When asked for comment, President George Bush said only that he felt the former Defense Secretary had done "a heckuva job."

Source: The Specious Report


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