"Madame, bear in mind That princes govern all things--save the wind." -Victor Hugo, The Infanta's Rose

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


I have nothing to write about today.

And in the true spirit that defines everything that's good, decent and holy about the Blogosphere, here I am writing a post about the fact that I have nothing to write about. What a wonderful medium this is! But just as I was about to write about having nothing to write about, a flash of inspiration hit me: what if I wrote a song about writing about having nothing to write about? (You still with me? I think that was a triple-negative.) Yeah! That's it! Then I can write about nothing, and still have written about something. Wait, isn't that how Seinfeld became a hit?

So anyway, let's bring on the band here ... hey fellas ... here we go, try to imagine in your head a little 8-bar walkin' blues, maybe an E-A-B chord progression, kind of medium-quick tempo. Got it? Yeah, that's it. OK, now we're doin' a funky little opening guitar riff here, and when it comes around again, lemme sing y'all this little ditty I call ...

The Bloggin Blues

Sometimes we full of fire
Sometimes we wanna write
The woids flow through our fingers
Dey keep us up all night

But then the woids dey fail us
No matter how we try
We stare and wait and wonder
Why de well has done run dry

I gots dem bloggin blues
Baby I just caint find my Muse
Yes I gots de bloggin blues
Sugar I cannot find my Muse
Nuthins shakin in the news
You know I gots dem bloggin blues

I've got a hundred web sites
That I visit every day
I loves to read dem stories
Bout whut peoples have to say

But when at last it's my turn
To spin a clever word
My intellect deserts me
And ah'm feelin like a turd

I gots dem bloggin blues
Sugar I cannot find my Muse
Yeah baby I got dem bloggin blues
And I'm lookin for my Muse
If I only had some views
I would not have dese bloggin blues

(funky blues guitar instrumental break here - yowsah!)

I called my friend in Jersey
He ask "what up wit dat"
Man you lost yo inspiration
You postin pictures of yo cat

I've lost my sense of humor
Got nuthin left to give
And if I can't think o' somethin
Ah'll surely lose mah will to live

I got dem bloggin blues
Honey I cannot find my Muse
Yes I got dem bloggin blues
Sugar I sure have lost my Muse
Ah'm feelin so confused
Lord I got dem bloggin blues

(Repeat Chorus)

No I cannot be excused
Honey I gots dem low down
dirty rotten
mean n nasty
good fo nuthin

(dramatic pause, deep breath, then big finale)

Baby you know i gots dem bloggin......
Bluuuuuuu .... esssssss

Thank you. Thank you very much. And don't forget to tip your waitress, she's workin' hard out there for ya.

© 2006, Toasted Tunes Music; Woodlake Media


  • At 5/31/2006 07:36:00 PM, Blogger April said…

    hahahah... LOL!! Brilliant!! "Toasted Tunes Music" huh? I loved it!!

  • At 6/03/2006 02:23:00 PM, Blogger Janelle said…

    Loved the song. One thing people might not know about me is that I play guitar. When I was 17 my father bought me this really beautiful accoustic/electric Talkimine that was a deep green but reflected light and would look different depending on the lighting. My brother and father also play. My father was in a band in his younger years (my father is a very young 61) and my brother was asked to play with The Convertables at the Pembina County fair when he was 16.

    ...I am going some where with all of this...

    Because I like the song I am going to try and put the cords together, make a really bad but the best that I can recording, see if I can get some one to sing it, and then maybe we can try and pass it around.

    Cool! I'd love to hear what you come up with.


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